Chapter One
Sitka, Alaska; March 1889
She wouldn’t allow herself to cry before they docked. She absolutely refused.
Clarise Rothley Wells stood on the deck of the Alliance, trying to focus on the small outer islands they were passing as the ship sailed closer and closer to the larger Baranof Island and their final destination.
This was their new future. Their new life. So why did she have this sense of foreboding? As though everything was about to fall apart?
It was probably a silly fear. After all, it wasn’t as though things could fall apart more than they already had. That was the entire reason she was in Alaska now.
The bow of the ship turned, leaving behind the wild, open waters of the Pacific and bringing the town of Sitka, Alaska, into view.
She’d expected Sitka to be dreary at this time of year, with low-hanging clouds and thick, gray mist that shrouded the mountains surrounding them. That was what she remembered about this time of year in Southeast Alaska. But milky sunlight greeted her instead, filtering down onto the forest-covered mountains as they rose from the water, their upper slopes still streaked with snow.
She breathed in, filling her lungs with the tang of salt and cold, and tried to push away the darkness creeping in at the edges of her thoughts. In a few more months, the waters would be filled with humpback whales splashing and frolicking and searching for food. She used to press her hands against the rail just like this, waiting for the thrill of spotting a large, dark shape swimming beneath the water, then breaking the surface for spray to burst from its blowhole.
But there were no whales today. It was too early in the season. They were still down in the warm waters off Hawaii and Mexico, not quite ready to make their journey north to feed.
But the small town of Sitka still sat on the far side of the sound, tucked along the shoreline beneath the towering mountains. Thin trails of smoke drifted from chimneys, and the colorful fronts of warehouses and shops caught the sun where it broke through the clouds. The green dome of St. Michael’s Cathedral rose above most of the rooftops, and the old Russian governor’s mansion sat atop Castle Hill to the north, looking out over both the town and the sound.
Something tugged at her hand and she looked down.
“Mama, I’m cold.”
She swept her gaze over her son’s small frame. Theo’s woolen coat hung unbuttoned on his shoulders, and he wasn’t wearing a hat or gloves. “Let’s start by buttoning your coat. That might have something to do with why you’re so chilly. Do you still have your gloves tucked into your pocket?”
She crouched down and fastened the buttons, then checked his pocket for his gloves, but they were missing. She tousled his mop of hair before standing. She expected him to shriek and grab her hand. He never liked his hair being mussed, but he just turned his big blue eyes on her.
“Can we go home now?”
She froze, her eyes moving back toward Sitka, which was growing larger by the second. “We are going home. To our new home, remember?”
She’d tried to explain the move as best as she could, but there was only so much a three-year-old boy could understand.
“It’s cold.” A shiver wracked his body, and Theo wrapped his little arms around himself.
She’d told him that it would be cold here, but again, how much could she expect her youngest child to comprehend? His entire life had been in upheaval after his father died in November, and this was yet one more adjustment in a long list of changes that must feel insurmountable to him.
They felt insurmountable to her, and she was nearly thirty-three.
“Washington, DC, was this cold too, but the wind here can make it feel colder. You’ll get used to it soon.” In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if he shed his coat and started running around the moment they reached land. “We’re almost to Sitka. Do you see the buildings?”
He looked in the direction she pointed.
“Doesn’t this look like a pretty place for our new home?” She crouched back down to his level. “Just look at all the mountains around it.”
Theo’s gaze traveled up toward the snow-capped peak behind the town; then he turned and followed the outline of the mountains surrounding them. There were plenty of mountains to take in. The entire sound was surrounded by them, rising straight up from the water, steep and close on every side. To their left, Mount Edgecumbe stood apart from the rest, the broad, unmistakable shape of the dormant volcano guarding the northern edge of the entrance to the sound.
The town felt small against the mountains and water and sky, no more than a narrow strip of buildings pressed between forest and sea, and the Alliance felt smaller still as the ship eased its way toward the harbor.
“Where are Pippa and Addy?” She pulled her gaze away from the mountains and scanned the deck behind him. When Theo had first appeared, she’d expected Pippa or Addy or maybe both of them to follow close behind, but they were nowhere to be found.
“In the cabin,” Theo answered, still watching the mountains.
“Do they know where you are?”
The boy shrugged.
“We need to let them know where you are and see if there’s anything else that needs to be packed.” Things had been fairly well packed when she’d left the small cabin belowdecks earlier, but maybe something was giving Addy trouble.
She tugged Theo away from the railing, but no sooner had she turned him toward the stairs then Pippa raced onto the deck, her blond hair flying behind her.
“Theo? Mother? Has anyone seen . . . ? Oh.” Her steps slowed when she saw them; then she pumped her legs and raced straight for her brother and wrapped him in her arms.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Wells.” Addy had scrambled onto the deck as well, her dark eyes quickly taking in everything about the situation. “Theo was trying to fold a pair of trousers and insisting he could do it himself, so I sent Pippa for the broom, and I—”
“There’s no need to explain.” She held up a hand, stopping their former kitchen servant from giving an explanation she didn’t need to hear. She wasn’t her late husband, after all. “We both know he has a penchant for wandering off.”
She tugged Theo away from Pippa, then schooled her face into a serious look. “Theo, what’s the rule for when we are traveling?”
The boy tucked his head to the side and looked down. “I hav’ta be with Mama.”
“That’s right, and if you’re not with Mama, who else do you need to be with?”
“Pippa or Addy.” The words were so quiet she could barely hear them over the lapping of the waves.
“And were you with Pippa or Addy when you left the cabin?”
Theo’s eyes shot back up to hers. “I wanted to find Mama.”
“Next time, you need to find me while Pippa or Addy are with you. You cannot go wandering off alone, even if you have a good reason. It’s going to be even more important that you stay close after we get off the ship. Do you—”
“Hands to stations.” The captain’s voice rang out from the quarterdeck. “Stand by to shorten sail.”
She wrapped Theo in a hug, then straightened. “We should probably go get our luggage so . . .” Her voice trailed off as she realized both Pippa and Addy were no longer beside her. Instead, they stood at the railing, taking in their surroundings.
“Or we can get our luggage after we dock.” She bent down and lifted Theo onto her hip so he could have a better view of the mountains. In a few more months, he’d be too big for her to carry, but she wasn’t prepared to give that up quite yet.
“I’ve never seen anything so pretty,” Addy breathed. “And it gets to be our new home?”
She surveyed the scenery, trying to remember just how captivated she’d been the first time she’d seen Sitka as a sixteen-year-old.
“I see why you wanted to move back,” the other woman whispered.
“There are so many mountains, and they all come straight up out of the water,” Pippa was saying. “I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life.”
Commotion sounded behind them, sailors furling the sails and preparing to make landfall. But one set of boot steps sounded particularly heavy.
She found herself stiffening even before she glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, Sacha Amos was standing beside the mizzenmast with his wife and children. But they weren’t pulling his attention away from her.
She swallowed. He wouldn’t come up and try talking to her, would he? She’d managed to avoid him since boarding the ship in Seattle, and she intended to keep it that way. She hadn’t been able to avoid his pretty wife and her questions quite so easily, though, and Pippa had played with his daughter several times over the past few days.
But that didn’t mean she was looking to strike up a friendship with anyone from the Amos family—not with how they were tied to a part of her past she’d put solidly behind her.
It was true that Alaska had once been the happiest place she’d known. That was a big part of why she was returning. It was also true that her relationship with Sacha’s older brother, Alexei, had been part of that.
But that had been over a decade ago.
She hadn’t come back to Sitka because of Alexei. She’d come back for her children, for the peace she hoped this place might still offer, and for a life that no longer belonged to Washington, DC, or its expectations. Whatever remained between her and the Amos family would have to stay where it belonged.
In the past.
